I remember feeling overwhelmed as a young executive in a Fortune 200, publicly traded company. At the time, I was a single parent to a four-year-old, working on my Master’s degree all while working 60 hours a week. I was responsible for 400 employees, providing customer service to 600,000 customers and natural gas to consumers across 47 cities. One time, while still taking classes to get my MBA, I received a new opportunity to oversee customer service for 2.1 million customers across three states. The job came with a move from El Paso to Tulsa, even while boxes were being delivered to my new home, I coordinated with my mom to come from Kansas and help with my daughter, so I could attend Harvard Business School for senior executive leaders (talk about imbalance). Between my own experiences and supplemental research, I have confidence, I can help you find balance and achieve success with three simple steps.
1. Prioritize Your Values – While time is limited, only you choose how you spend it. Start by listing out what is important to you. For example, if it is exercise, then list it and make time for it. Having a perfectly kept house was not my value, so with boxes in my kitchen, I went to Harvard and unpacked later. “When the values are clear, the decisions become easy” (Roy Disney). Having clarity around your values will help when you are trying to decide what to schedule into a day.
In this visual, if you put the tiny pebbles in first, you will run out of room for the larger stones. Metaphorically, the larger stones are the things that matter most in your life. Start with the big things first and fit as many other little things in as you want. By doing this, you will automatically feel more accomplished and balanced. Many of you will need to learn to say NO to things that do not matter, so you can say YES to the things that do.
2. Set Goals – If you are like me, you might think goals are the cause of your imbalance because you will fight to accomplish goals at all costs. Notice, I purposely listed goals AFTER values. Your goals should be a byproduct of your values. For example, if you want to be an executive by the time you are 34 (like I did) you may have to give up binge watching Netflix and Facebook for a season. Goals aligned with values will help you accomplish the things that are meaningful in your life. Busyness (wow that word is close to the word business) and imbalance make it difficult to accomplish anything. If you are not intentional, you will have nothing to show for your effort. Having SMART goals will help you make sense of the chaos and give you a tangible metric to confirm your efforts are worthwhile.
3. Persevere – I had a mentor tell me, “Sometimes work will need you more than home, and sometimes home will need you more than work. It is really about balancing out that pendulum” (Kari French). Life will get unbalanced from time to time especially when you are working to accomplish something great. Give yourself permission to not be perfect. When you experience that overwhelming feeling, take a few really deep breaths. My mom used to say, “this too shall pass”. Rest assured, what you are working toward is aligned with your values and goals. I do not know anyone that has accomplished anything great by quitting. When it gets hard, make a conscious decision to be uncomfortable for a while and CHAMPION ON, MY FRIEND!
Today I am on the other side of all the craziness and when asked, was it worth it, without hesitation I say, absolutely! I am living my dream life. I am 44 years old and I get to be at every one of my daughter’s school events. She is able to attend a prestigious private school and has dreams to attend Harvard Law School. I own my own business, specializing in board level strategy and organizational leadership programs. As a professor, I impact tomorrow’s leaders in the classroom. I volunteer for several non-for-profit organizations and still have time to play competitive tennis. I am confident, three simple steps will help you enjoy balance and accomplish great things in 2020, once you prioritize your values, set goals and persevere.
